But we’ll be fine again, won’t we?

Mistakes were made;

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again.

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Restless

it’s 11 pm and i couldn’t sleep just like the nights before.

i have thoughts as tall as trees and wide as mountains trying to eat me alive.

and there’s nothing i want to do more than hold your hand, but you’d shake it right off.

and there’s nothing i want more than feel your arms wrapped around me and your kisses on my forehead again,

but you deserve someone better, not a girl who’s patched herself up so many times and still cracking at every inches,

not the girl who constantly told you she’s never going to return only to come knocking at your door minutes after,

not the same old girl with the same old lies and the same old scars underneath her sleeves.

but even after countless nights and hundreds of months and many many years,

still, during my sleepless nights when the sky is the darkest and no stars dared to shine,

it’ll always be your presence that i’ll find solace in.

Purple Skies

Have you ever paid attention to how the sky lights up when the sun arrives every morning?

How its color gradually grew into a purple hue, then a soft shade of blue,

How there is nothing else to be heard other than the quiet chirps of birds,

How every so often, the moon lingered for a little while after the sun started to shine?

We burned away too soon, and I miss you like the moon longed for the warm, gentle radiance of the sun in early mornings.

I miss you like the sun longed for the stars burning brightly on purple evening skies.

I miss you, and saying this a thousand times more will not make me miss you less.

I miss you, but it’s not something I can ever confess;

so writing it down is the only thing I can do, for now.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Chains

​Don’t tell me to return,

you’ve never been my home.

I know you’d rather watch me burn than sit through your nights alone.

It never mattered to you if it did any harm,

as long as you know that there’s a fire to keep you warm.

Don’t tell me to stand strong,

as if you’ve never done me wrong.

Don’t tell me not to wither, 

you’ve had me under your thumb all along.

Don’t tell me not to burn bridges,

I’m teetering near the edges, 

I’m inches away from the fall.

Don’t ask me to close my eyes,

don’t ask me to follow you. 

Don’t tell me not to peek and expect me to follow through. 

You’ve been leading me to dark corners under cloudy skies and countless dead ends.

You’ve been leading me down through roads I never wanted, 

not when I haven’t yet made amends.

Don’t tell me how to act, 

don’t tell me how to feel,

you never had to pretend your feelings were ever real.

But still you kept me in chains, telling me that you own me;

you never even wanted me.