Untitled #2

I wish you would look at me the way you look at sunrises.

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The stars fade when your smile does.

And I wish you happiness, always.

Even when I couldn’t say it to you.

I never seem to be able to say a word when I’m by your side, anyway; except when it’s corny jokes, and overused memes, and sentences that come out stuttered.

But I still wish you happiness, because you brought mine.

I still remember the first time we talked, and how you seemed to be the only one who showed me kindness. You were my only friend, at a time. You were the only person who talked to me regularly, even when it’s only on chat, even though we only met once a week in class.

I’m sorry if I couldn’t repay you, if I have been a terrible friend, if I couldn’t show my appreciation enough. I’m sorry if I still forgot to reply to you, once or twice or many more times. I’m sorry if sometimes the words got stuck on my throat and I couldn’t even say hi, not before you greeted me first.

I don’t even know if I have enough courage to share with you this writing I made, even though I wrote it for you; but I wish you’d know how much I appreciate you, or in my usual words, when I’m not being all poetic: you were my small speck of sanity when everything else has gone to shit. And even when we don’t talk that much anymore now, you still are.

I don’t know what has been bringing you down, it doesn’t matter much to me whether I should know exactly what it is or not.

But I still wish you happiness, I always will; the stars fade when your smile does. Please feel better soon.